Why Darth Vader's Return Is A Bad Idea

Alright, so we're big fans of Darth Vader. The would-be "Chosen One" is one of the most iconic villains in pop culture and serves as one of the most badass figures in cinematic history. He's got the cape, the helmet, the red lightsaber, and the deep, commanding voice of James Earl Jones. Hell, he's so popular that starred as guest fighter in Soul Calibur 4, even though that video game has exactly zero to do with Star Wars. So, yes, we appreciate the heck out of Vader. But do we want him to return in the Star Wars anthology film, Rogue One? Not really. According to movie site JoBlo, Darth Vader is set to make a return to the big screen in Rogue One, the first film in the Star Wars anthology series, which will tell the story of how the plans for the Death Star were stolen. Since the story takes place between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, it's understandable that Darth Vader would be hanging around, presumably Force-choking dudes for looking at him wrong and fighting the urge to drop to his knees to scream, "Nooooooo!" But here are some reasons why it's a bad idea for him to feature prominently.

The movie Rogue One is going to expand on that little snippet during the opening crawl of A New Hope that says, "Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet." Exciting stuff, right? The fact that we'd get to see a bunch of Rebel pilots team up and infiltrate an Imperial base to steal the plans for the iconic planet-destroying space station is pretty cool, because it'll have a war-time flair to it and feature normal folk banding together without the help of Chosen Ones, hokey religions, or ancient weapons. But bringing Vader back into the mix might take some of the focus away from this team of spies and infiltrators. We'd much rather see an Oceans 11-like heist against the Galactic Empire's version of the Bellagio, without the presence of an overpowered Sith Lord.

C'mon, haven't we gotten our fill of Anakin? It's bad enough that we had to suffer through seeing him as a kid in Episode I, trying very hard to be cute and mysterious. But it got even worse when we had to go through his angry, emo phase in Episode II and Episode III. There's already a theory floating around that Rey from The Force Awakens is a reincarnated form of Anakin thanks to the power of the Force and the fact that Anakin still needs to bring balance to the Force as the Chosen One, even after his death. Assuming Rey makes it all the way to Episode IX and Vader features prominently in Rogue One, that could make a whopping 10 movies starring some form of Anakin or Vader. And that's way too much.

Vader is known as a beloved "Big Bad," taking his place in the upper echelons of villainy. And that's a spot that's well-deserved, but perhaps it's time the series got some more iconic villains. Sure, we now have Kylo Ren, Captain Phasma, General Hux, and Supreme Leader Snoke thanks to The Force Awakens, but they're part of the main series, and we'll definitely see more of them in forthcoming films. What would be exciting about Rogue One would be the inclusion of an amazing one-off villain. And we don't mean a one-off villain the way that General Grievous or Darth Maul were one-off villains, but an actual, fleshed-out and exciting villain would infuse some new fervor for fans of the Empire. Just imagine, brand new merchandising and cosplay options for fans!

Darth Vader is cool and all, but let's face it... he's kind of a relic of the '70s. That whole walking life-support suit thing might be practical, and his all-black attire might be menacing, but we could definitely use a newer class of villain. While timeless, his character design isn't too far off from Marty McFly's "Darth Vader" outfit in Back to the Future, which was basically just a hazmat suit. And yes, Vader was slow and methodical, making him all the more terrifying because you could tell he was a calculating villain under that helmet, but we could do with a brand new flavor of villainy. We'd actually enjoy a mouthier type of Imperial officer or something, one that oozes charisma. Just imagine Inglourious Basterds' Colonel Hans Landa, but in space. Wouldn't that be cooler for this movie?

He went from an annoying, pint-sized pile of midichlorians to a petulant teenager who was one step away from wearing guyliner and shopping at Hoth Topic. Great, you hate sand, we get it. Nothing about Anakin was likable. He was also overly creepy when it came to his interactions with Senator Amidala. He didn't try very hard to keep to the Jedi code and kept eye-banging her at every turn, all while having one of the most boring romances we've ever seen on-screen. This guy's got all of the charisma of a pile of bantha poodoo, yet somehow he managed to woo a 10 like Amidala just by staring at her in a field of flowers? We're not saying Jedi mind trick... but Jedi mind trick.

With that said, we don't really want to see the transitional form of Vader post-Revenge of the Sith as he started to get over losing his limbs, his best friend, and his lover. We know that the Dark Side of the Force is strengthened by anger, but post-Anakin Vader would be more angst-ridden than anything else.

Just imagine a movie in the Star Wars universe without any Force-sensitive characters. Sure, we all love seeing the Jedi and the Sith fight each other with their fancy-schmancy lightsabers, Force lightning, and Force pushing...but aren't those powers kind of a fallback? Wouldn't it be a cool change to follow a skilled sharpshooter or pilot instead? The stakes would feel a lot higher since no one would be able to mind trick or Force grab things out of convenience. Fighter pilots would actually have to stay on target and not even think about closing their eyes in order to trust their feelings. It'd be gritty, dangerous, and hopefully that much more rewarding to watch a bunch of lay-folk kick Imperial butt with their own tools.