Ancient 'Big-Butted Warrior' Monolith Unearthed In Scotland

There's no doubt that thicc butts have been enjoying a moment in popular culture thanks to advocates such as Nicki Minaj and the Kardashian clan. Of course we're not the first society to lavish praise on large posteriors. Some of the oldest sculptures and etchings in the world, such as the 30,000 year old Venus of Willendorf, celebrate the beautiful curves and swerves of the human body. Now, thanks to archaeologists working in Scotland, we have another booty-centric piece of ancient art for the cultural canon.

In a paper published in the February 2020 edition of the journal Antiquity archaeologists introduced us to a newly reconstructed pictograph depicting a male warrior figure with a big spear and an even bigger butt. According to LiveScience the image was carved onto a 6'4" tall, 2'3" wide stone that was uncovered near the Scottish town of Perth during a construction project. Referred to by the archaeologists as the Tulloch stone, it is a remnant of the Picts, one of the many ancient cultures who called the British Isles home before the arrival of the Romans in 55 BC.

The Picts were not one people, but rather a confederation of tribes who lived in Northern Scotland and shared similar cultural and political traits. Their most defining characteristic is spelled right out in their name, which comes from the Latin word Picti, or "painted/tattooed people." Reports from the earliest days of Roman colonization described them as being covered in body art, which was likely startling to the comparatively effete Romans. The Picts were also known as skilled warriors who managed to stave off efforts to bring them under Roman rule long after the rest of the island was colonized.

As for the booty of it all, it appears that the Picts, like many ancient and contemporary cultures, may have been butt people. There are many theories posed by philosophers, anthropologists, art historians, and other experts as to why humanity is so obsessed with our own backsides that we started carving them out of stone before we even invented agriculture. But why overthink things? Let's just be grateful to the Picts for providing us with one more piece of thicc art to enjoy.