The One Thing That's Illegal To Do With The National Anthem In Massachusetts

José, can you see by the dawn's early light? No, you can't? Well, here's a flashlight." Ah that's right, those aren't the lyrics. But what about if you're trashed and you sing this rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner" at Applebees? Or, what if you want to sample those lines and lay them over some four-on-the-floor dance track with fireworks very patriotically going zip, zoom, pow in the background? Or you want to add some crazy, OG-Mariah Carey vocal runs to "embellish" the song? Well, you'd better do all of those things in a state that's not Massachusetts. Because if you do any of that there, it's going to cost you.

That's right, the land of Marky Mark really gets its star-spangled knickers in a bunch about messing with the national anthem, right down to a law prescribing how to perform it. And Massachusetts already has some weird, overreaching laws, like its legislation against defacing milk cartons and making noise in the library. There even used to be a 1659 law preventing people from celebrating Christmas — yes, preventing — "either by forbearing of labor, feasting, or any other way" because "such festivals as were superstitiously kept in other countries, to the great dishonor of God and offence of others," per the Massachusetts state government. We're guessing silent prayer in a damp cellar was ok.

But the law about "The Star-Spangled Banner"? While it contains a lot of specific provisions, it boils down to not altering the original composition in any way while performing it. And if you do, you can be fined up to $100.

Massachusetts' unaltered "Star-Spangled Banner" law goes out of its way to make sure no one can get around any of its provisions. It lives in the Massachusetts legislative tome in Part IV, Title I, Chapter 264, Section 9 and is worth quoting at length to get the point across. First, the law covers instruments, voice, or any other way to "render" the national anthem. Then, it describes the locations covered in the law as "any public place, theatre, motion picture hall, restaurant or café, or at any public entertainment," which basically means everywhere outside of your house or property. 

Then, the law defines the crux of the crime — deviating from the "whole and separate composition or number" by way of "embellishment or addition in the way of national or other melodies," whereby "other melodies" could mean practically anything. Then, the law finishes by banning use of "any part" of the anthem "as dance music, as an exit march or as a part of a medley of any kind." Jeez. Who hurt your red, white, and blue pride, Old Bay State? 

Like we mentioned before, all this prescriptive hand wringing covers public presentations of the "Star-Spangled Banner." It also seems to focus on live performances, although we're guessing that playing the "Star-Spangled Drug Rave" on your phone in Faneuil Hall in Boston might draw the ire of passersby, if not the police. But at least if you break this law it won't cost you more than $100. So ... good?

We've made a lot of jokes in this article, but it really is the case that lots of folks take the national anthem very seriously, right down to a soul-swelling sense of religious reverence. In that way, we could see Massachusetts' law about not altering "The Star-Spangled Banner" as an extension of common attitudes, or even a matter of social etiquette. The Etiquette School of America (yes, a thing) says as much. After all, we all know the hullabaloo around "taking a knee," as it's called, during the national anthem at sporting events. But making altering the national anthem illegal, like how it's illegal in Massachusetts to be noisy in a library? Some might say that's a bridge too far. 

Then again, let's look at the United States Code Section 301 from 2022 regarding the national anthem. This law dates back to 1942 (after the U.S. joined World War II) and got updated multiple times — in 1976 and during the '90s. Yet it basically remains the same. Per the law, in-and-out-of-uniform military servicepeople are supposed to salute during the national anthem, and non-military people should remove their hats and place their right hands on their hearts — the kind of stuff you learn in elementary school. When the American flag is on display, you face it. If there's no flag, you face the music — literally. 

And even though these precise behaviors are dictated by U.S. federal law, there's no punishment listed for not doing them. So maybe "preferred etiquette" is the best way to think of things, and the Massachusetts law just goes one step further.