The Gross Behavior That's Actually Illegal In Indiana

"Clean food, please," the man at the table says. "In that case, sir, may I advise against the lady eating clam chowder?" the waiter replies. Movie buffs might recognize these lines from one of the most often-quoted, legendary films of past decades: 1999's "Fight Club" (and you can thank a David Bowie song for making the flick a reality). The conversation is between Edward Norton's reintegrated narrator-meets-Tyler Durden character (spoiler) and singer Ed Kowalczyk from the band Live, and the dialogue refers to one of the grossest acts a person could commit. While we won't go into descriptive details here, we're talking bodily fluid and another person involuntarily touching or ingesting said fluid. And if you're in Indiana and do this kind of thing, that's a Class B misdemeanor.

Yes, that roundabout movie reference demonstrates that the state of Indiana isn't the only one to be concerned about such things. It's kind of a common joke and even a fear amongst restaurant goers: Did someone spit (or worse) in my food? It doesn't even need to be in a restaurant. Maybe there's some hooligan prowling the park who drools into your sandwich while you're sitting on a bench. All such acts involving "body fluid" or "fecal waste" (covering liquids and solids, just in case) are punishable by law in Indiana Code § 35-45-16-2 under the heading "Malicious mischief," as Casetext outlines. 

Avnet Law says that such maliciously mischievous Class B misdemeanors come with a stock penalty: Up to 180 days in the clink and/or $1,000 in fines. Is it worth it for the lulz? Probably not.

The weird Indiana law in question often gets reduced to "no spitting in food." But the wording is actually way more vague than that to cover a wide variety of circumstances. Per Casetext, it includes anyone "who recklessly, knowingly, or intentionally places body fluid or fecal waste" somewhere, anywhere — in "a location," in fact. If this is done "with the intent that another person will involuntarily touch" the bodily fluid or fecal matter, then it becomes a crime. 

Indiana Law Code § 35-45-16-2 starts with a whole bunch of definitions just to make sure that some miscreant can't find loopholes. "Bodily fluid" covers (this is gross — bear with us) blood, saliva, sputum, semen, vaginal secretions, human milk, urine, sweat, tears, and "any other liquid produced by the body" or "any aerosol generated form of liquids listed in this subsection." Here's the point where we remind the reader: If Indiana legislators are getting this prescriptive, you know it's happened before. There are some nasty people out there — never forget.

And just to ramp up the seriousness for a moment, the law in question gets boosted from a Class B misdemeanor to a Level 6 felony if the contaminator "knew or recklessly failed to know" that the fluid or poop in question is infected with hepatitis, HIV, or tuberculosis. As Justia says, a Level 6 felony in Indiana comes with a prison sentence of between six months and 2.5 years and a fine up to $10,000.

Thankfully, it looks like Indiana is serious about its cleanliness and orderliness. Law code § 35-45-16-2 pertaining to bodily fluids and fecal waste is contained within Title 35, Criminal Law and Procedure, Article 45: "Offences Against Public Health, Order, and Decency." Other cleanliness-related sections include Chapter 3 (about littering and pollution) and Chapter 21's § 35-45-21-1,  which covers further concerns about hepatitis, HIV, and tuberculosis transmission. Per Casetext, it deals with "transferring contaminated body fluids" and condemns anyone who "recklessly, knowingly, or intentionally donates, sells, or transfers" blood or semen for use in artificial insemination. Again, we've got to point out: If there's a law covering this kind of thing, it means someone's done it at some point.

Then again, other states know this, as well. In 2015, Minnesota also passed a law to prohibit adulteration by bodily fluid that carried a penalty of 10 years in prison and/or a $40,000 fine. Louisiana set similar legislation in motion in 2020, carrying a penalty of five years in prison and/or up to a $2,000 fine. Tennessee Law Code § 39-17-107 addresses the same bodily fluid concerns via contaminated food and focuses on disease transmission. Maryland has a similar code, too, under Criminal Law § 3-215. It defines "bodily fluids" as "seminal fluid, blood, urine, or feces" and says that no one may "knowingly and willfully cause another to ingest" such substances. On and on it goes. Who knew that people everywhere were so gross?