Eminem's Relationship With His Mother, Debbie Nelson, Explained

Eminem is as monumentally famous as he is dominant in the hip-hop scene. Over the past 25 years or so, he's sold millions of records' worth of lyrically dense, emotionally driven, and often humorous and violent songs rapped in his signature high-pitched timbre. Whether he's dissing himself, other rappers, or the mother of his child to various and specific degrees, Eminem comes across as both brutal and brutally honest. As far as what's commonly known about the rapper, one of the things we sometimes get wrong about Eminem concerns his personal life. He's had a famously fraught, combative, and complicated relationship with his mother, Debbie Nelson (sometimes also known as Debbie Mathers and Debbie Briggs), who died on December 2, 2024, at age 69.

It's part of Eminem's insane real-life story that he's publicly, legally, and even artistically battled with Nelson off and on for almost his entire life, well before his career as one of the most consequential rappers began in the late 1990s.  Mother-son relationships are nothing if not multi-faceted and every few years, the ongoing war between the former Marshall Mathers III and his mother flared up before cooling down again. Here's a timeline tracking the ups and downs in the dynamic between Eminem and his mother, Debbie Nelson.

The following article includes allegations of addiction and domestic abuse.

The eldest of five children and born to a 15-year-old mother, Debbie Nelson ran her large household by age 11. "Keeping house, caring for my brothers, cooking, and cleaning," Nelson wrote in "My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem." By the time she was 14, the family splintered when her mother gave birth to a child conceived via an affair, and Nelson's father married another woman, becoming estranged from his children. Back at home, Nelson and her younger siblings slept outside to get away from what she reported to be physical abuse from a stepfather. Nelson subsequently left home at age 16 and married her high school boyfriend, Marshall Mathers.

In 1972, Nelson gave birth to Marshall Mathers III (who would later acquire his iconic stage name of Eminem by playing with his initials). Debbie Mathers nearly didn't survive labor: Following horrendous labor pains, Mathers had seizures and lost consciousness owing to an instance of blood poisoning. After an emergency delivery, she lapsed into a coma and remained unresponsive for days, regaining consciousness while a priest was blessing her. She finally met her infant son, for whom she perhaps felt at least a slight sense of animosity. "From the moment he was born, my son Marshall was a beautiful actor," Nelson wrote in "My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem." "He knew exactly how to look at me from under his long dark eyelashes and put on a show."

Eminem broke through in 1999 with his second full-length album, "The Slim Shady LP." It sold more than five million copies and generated viciously critical hit singles like "My Name Is," which included digs at his mother such as, "I just found out my mom does more dope than I do." Eminem doubled down on the anti-mother talk in multiple interviews during his initial brush with fame, and all that led to a lawsuit. In 1999, Debbie Nelson sued her son for $11 million, accusing him of defamation of character and inflicting emotional distress for more than two dozen public comments that implied she misused drugs and had been violent with him during his boyhood. 

"My mother doesn't like the fact that I talk about her doing drugs. Even though I say it in a joking kind of way, I think it hits home with her. And she knows. She knows. My mother knows," Eminem told the Detroit Free Press around that time. "You've just got to stay positive when you've got so many negative people in your life," Nelson told the newspaper.

In 2001, Judge Mark Switalski of Macomb County, Michigan, decided the suit, ruling in Nelson's favor. However, he significantly reduced the amount Eminem was liable to pay: The rapper would owe his mother $25,000, not $11 million. And of that amount, the court ruled that all but $1,645.75 should go to Nelson's attorney to cover legal fees for other, unrelated legal matters.

When he was 13 years old, Marshall Mathers III's family grew with the addition of a half-brother. Nathan Mathers was born in 1986 to Debbie Nelson and her partner at the time, Fred Samra. Raising two children alone proved to be a difficult situation for Nelson, and shortly after his eighth birthday, Nathan Mathers was removed from his mother's care and placed into the foster care system. "The day he was taken away, I was the only one allowed to see him. They had come and got him out of school," Eminem told Rolling Stone. "I always said if I ever get in a position to take him, I would take him," he said. 

Around 1992, the 20-year-old future rapper tried to gain full custody of his sibling, but he was denied on the basis of financial instability. Ten years later, Eminem technically adopted his brother and was appointed his legal guardian. He raised Nathan Mathers into early adulthood, and they only saw their mother together once after that, according to Eminem's 2013 song "Headlights."

In 2007, Debbie Nelson announced that she'd soon publish a memoir recounting her tumultuous relationship with her son, Eminem. "This book is my way of setting the record straight," Nelson states in the introduction to "My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem," alluding to the criticism and assaults, both character and physical, she reportedly suffered at the hands of Eminem fans. While drumming up publicity for the book, which would reveal many embarrassing secrets and shed light on the rapper's upbringing, Nelson accused her son of imagining the troubled childhood that had fueled so many of his songs and shaped his persona. "After his first album 'Infinite' flopped, he reinvented himself as wh*** trailer t**** with a crazy welfare mom," Nelson wrote. "I was shocked when I heard the lyrics, but he constantly reassured me it was all a big joke. I went along with it for Marshall's sake."

Nevertheless, Nelson recounts multiple troubling and even horrific moments she experienced with her son in his youth. In addition to claiming that young Marshall Mathers was so immediately distraught over one of his mother's later marriages that he wouldn't allow the newlyweds to share a bed, Nelson also accused Eminem of assaulting her on his 23rd birthday but was so high on drugs that he didn't recall it happening.

Eminem's 2000 hit "Stan" makes a reference to the rapper's uncle Ronnie, who died by suicide in 1990. He's buried in a cemetery in Eminem and mother Debbie Nelson's hometown of St. Joseph, Missouri, and in July 2008, the rapper visited his uncle's gravesite. He arrived with his entourage in two black SUVs, prompting cemetery staff to contact Nelson. "They were looking for my little brother's grave. The [cemetery] had a lot of people tearing up gravesites and they wanted to make sure the [people] were authentic and things like that," Nelson explained to the Village Voice.

Nelson headed to the cemetery and attempted to make contact with her son, but was refused, rebuffed by the rapper's bodyguard and proxy. "He got out of the van and gave me his phone number and said, 'Mom, you should call me sometime. Your son's in the next vehicle, you need to say hey to him." Nelson did just that, but the SUV sped away instead. "I was kinda hurt. It would have been good," Nelson said.

Eminem and mother Debbie Nelson didn't directly speak to each other throughout the 2000s, and Nelson kept abreast of his activities through media reports and mutual contacts. "I've got a lot of people who work for Marshall off and on that know and keep me posted," Nelson explained to the Village Voice. Nevertheless, she attempted to invite healing by being a dutiful mother and grandmother from afar, routinely sending small gifts to her son and his daughter, Hailie, and adopted niece, Alaina.

"I've sent them checks, I've sent them little juicer-type things. Recently it was a plaque," Nelson recalled. "And then I sent Hailie a couple of pictures. I sent Marshall pictures, I sent him cards, checks, I've sent letters." Nelson was forced to elaborate on why she, on a limited income and living temporarily with friends in rural Florida at the time, sent her extremely wealthy son money. Her reason: It's small acts of love. "It doesn't matter how much the check is for, it's just the principle of letting him know I'm thinking of him and to go buy himself something nice and, actually, that he needs to stop buying for everybody else," Nelson said. "Even if he doesn't use them for himself, I'm sure it helps the girls and they probably use it."

Across the first decade of his career, Eminem used his lyrics to call out his mother for grievances and alleged misdeeds. In 1999's "My Name Is," he derisively dismissed Debbie Nelson as a drug user, and he accused her of drugging his food with Valium when he was young in "My Mom." He used the 2002 hit "Cleanin' Out My Closet" to explore the lingering anger and resentment he felt toward his mother, accusing her of prescription drug misuse and paranoia during his childhood, along with the prediction that her other son will soon learn that his mother is a "phony" and proclaiming that she'll never again see her granddaughter, not even at her eventual funeral.

In "Cleanin' Out My Closet," Eminem also alludes to "your song," meaning "Dear Marshall," a 2000 track recorded by Nelson as an apology and explanation for her behavior, with lyrics like "Marshall, I did the best I could" (per Variety). In 2013, Eminem responded with his own apology song, "Headlights." While the lyrics suggest that they don't regularly speak, Eminem took the opportunity to mention that he no longer performs "Cleanin' Out My Closet" live, hates to hear it on the radio, and forgives his mother. "I love you Debbie Mathers / Oh, what a tangled web we have," he rapped (via Rap-Up). "And I'm mad I didn't get the chance to thank you for being my mom and my dad. So Mom, please accept this as my tribute."

While many stars can't stand Eminem, in 2022 the hip-hop luminary became one of the few rappers ever inducted into the historically controversial Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Not only was it a moment of achievement and celebration for the musician, it was also a time for his mother to reflect. Suggesting that they weren't on the friendliest of terms even nearly a decade after Eminem apologized with the heartfelt song "Headlights," Debbie Nelson didn't attend the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony and instead released a palpably rushed and melancholy congratulatory video on social media channels.

"Marshall, I want to say, I could not let this day go by without congratulating you on your induction into the Hall of Fame," Nelson said in the clip while wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the logo of Eminem's Shady Records. "I love you very much. I knew you'd get there. It's been a long ride." She went on to praise her granddaughter, with whom her contact is also presumably limited. "Also I'm very proud of Hailie Jade, my big girl. I want to tell you Hailie, great job on your podcast and God bless you guys."

In her 2008 book "My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem," Debbie Nelson discussed a breast cancer diagnosis, which marked the beginning of a series of serious medical issues that prompted Nelson to think about her sons. "Cancers and heart disease and all that, and all the genetic things. I worry about my boys, having high blood pressure and things," Nelson told the Village Voice in 2008.

In September 2024, doctors in St. Joseph, Missouri, diagnosed Nelson with advanced-stage lung cancer and told her that the condition was ultimately untreatable. "She has a very limited amount of time," a source close to the situation told In Touch Weekly. Nelson split her time between a treatment center and the nearby homes of relatives, while her son Eminem didn't publicly address the matter, which made the news right around the time that he performed at the 2024 MTV Video Music Awards. "People around her aren't even sure if Eminem is even aware of what is happening to his mother," the source added, revealing that while the rapper took on all of his mother's financial needs, they weren't very communicative. "This could give them the chance to reconcile."

On the evening of December 2, 2024, Debbie Nelson died from the effects of lung cancer in Missouri at the age of 69. Eminem didn't immediately release a statement regarding his mother's death, but media outlets did confirm the news with his representative.

If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, is dealing with child abuse, or is struggling or in a crisis, contact the relevant resources below:

• The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

• Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org