What The Menendez Brothers' Life In Prison Is Really Like

In 1996, Lyle and Erik Menendez were convicted of the murder of their parents, Jose and Kitty. Throughout the trial, the Menendez brothers' lawyer made a strong argument that their brutal attack was the result of years of terrible abuse at the hands of their father — and witness testimonies backed up allegations that Jose had sexually abused his two sons. At one point, Erik took the stand to testify that molestation began when he was 6 years old. 

However, the extremely graphic nature of the killings — carried out with shotguns — was ultimately enough to lead to life sentences for them both. Prosecutors argued that the Menendez brothers merely wanted to get their hands on the family fortune, which they started spending quickly once they inherited. 

By now, the pair have been locked up for decades. Even though they spent a good chunk of that time apart, both have worked tirelessly to prove to the world (and maybe themselves) that they are not the same people they were on the worst night of their lives. Marriage, faith, and improving the lives of their fellow inmates quickly became the primary focus of both brothers and they've remained dedicated to those ideals. The brothers may never get out of prison, so Lyle and Erik have decided to spend that time acting altruistically. 

The following article mentions child abuse, sexual assault, and death by suicide.

After Erik and Lyle Menendez were convicted of the brutal murders of their parents and subsequently sentenced to life in prison, the two waited at North Kern State Prison to hear their fate. They were in the same place before an evaluation determined the destination of their final imprisonment, yet the yard of the complex stood between them in those final days.

The brothers had a strong desire to be incarcerated together, but September 10, 1996, would be the last day they would see each other for over 20 years. The two were also held in maximum security cells, so they did not have much interaction with anyone early on.

In the following decades, Erik and Lyle were typically at least 500 miles away from each other, with Erik first taken to the San Diego Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility and Lyle to the Mule Creek State Prison in Ione, California. While phone calls between the two were prohibited, they did manage to find ways to stay in contact throughout all those years. In an interview with People, Lyle Menendez said, "We write each other regularly. We even play chess through the mail, but it's a little slow."

During the trial, Lyle Menendez and his girlfriend, Anna Eriksson (pictured above), continued their romantic correspondence, and even the high likelihood that he would spend the rest of his life behind bars did not deter their love, at least at first. The couple did not waste any time, marrying in secret the same day the judge declared the sentence.

The relationship was not to last, and ended in divorce a short time later. But Lyle did not remain single for long. He soon formed a deep connection with another woman, Rebecca Sneed, whom he had known for a decade. In 2003, the two were allowed to wed in the maximum-security visiting area of Mule Creek State Prison and were even able to have several family members and friends witness the important event. 

The couple were married for over 21 years, and the distance did not seem to be a problem. Lyle told People, "Our interaction tends to be very free of distractions and we probably have more intimate conversations than most married spouses do, who are distracted by life's events. We try and talk on the phone every day, sometimes several times a day. I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me and brings a lot of peace and joy. It's a counter to the unpredictable, very stressful environment here." In late-November 2024, it was revealed that Lyle and Sneed had amicably separated.

Similar to his brother Lyle, Erik Menendez was also in touch with a woman during the trial, which began in 1993. The relationship was platonic at first, with Tammi Saccoman (pictured above) initially reaching out through letters because of the sympathy she felt for Erik as she watched his story unfold on television. At the time, she was also married and the mother of two daughters.

Saccoman supported Erik through a difficult time, and he returned the favor in 1996 when Saccoman had her own horrific experiences. First, she discovered her husband had been sexually abusing her teenage daughter (a child Tammi had from another relationship) for three years. Her husband confessed his crimes to the authorities before dying by suicide. Saccoman reached out to Erik, who comforted her through his letters.

In an interview with People, Saccoman admitted she was extremely nervous to meet Erik in person, but that instantly faded. She said, "When he walked into the room, he was so full of life, he hopped down the stairs. It was like I was meeting an old friend." By 1999, the two became so serious that they tied the knot at Folsom State Prison. When describing their marriage years later, Erik said, "Tammi's love has propelled me to become a better person. I want to be the greatest possible husband to her. And this affects the choices I make every day in prison."

The harsh conditions of prison can lead imprisoned people toward a stronger devotion to their faith, which was the case for Erik Menendez early on. In an interview with People, Erik spoke about his activities at that time, saying, "I write and read about spirituality, about life." He also added, "I want to be productive, to find some meaning in helping others." Additionally, Erik emphasized his desire to seek mercy through God. He focused on ways to promote good behavior among his fellow prisoners, and his lawyer, Chris Pixley, confirmed that Erik responded to hundreds of letters from victims of abuse to give his support.

Years later, Erik has continued his compassionate pursuits. Journalist Robert Rand, who has reported on the brothers' case since 1989, revealed to A&E True Crime, "Erik leads several self-help groups every week at Donovan, including a mindful meditation group, and has started a hospice group at Donovan."

In their lives behind bars, the Menendez brothers had some time to pursue personal activities, but they were also forced to work for the facilities in which they were incarcerated. Erik worked as a groundskeeper at California State Prison near Sacramento, and later became a janitor after transferring to Pleasant Valley State Prison. Similarly, Lyle also worked as a janitor at California Correctional Institution.

However, when talking with A&E True Crime, journalist Robert Rand (pictured above) emphasized how the brothers have decided to spend their free time. "What's really important about Lyle and Erik in 2022 is that they are both contributing quite a bit to their prison community. Lyle is very involved in prison reform activism," he said. Lyle served as president of the inmate government for many years, so he was often in a position to make significant changes. Erik has done his part as well, devoting himself to assisting terminally ill inmates.

In 2018, one of the greatest wishes of both Menendez brothers was granted when the two were allowed to see each other for the first time since 1996. Even better, the reunion was not brief. Lyle was allowed to join Erik at R.J. Donovan Correctional Facility and the two were finally incarcerated in the same prison.

At first, they were housed in separate sections, so they couldn't interact. But in April 2018, the two were allowed to reunite, and Eric was moved to Lyle's section within the prison. The first moment they saw each other quickly brought on tears of joy. Both Lyle and Erik started crying immediately upon being reunited. As Robert Rand explained to ABC News, "[Lyle] missed his brother so much. And Erik had also talked about how much he missed Lyle. So, this is just an overwhelming, emotional, happy moment for not only the brothers but their entire family." He also added, "They just hugged each other for a few minutes without saying any words to each other. Then the prison officials let them spend an hour together in a room."

At the Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility, the Menendez brothers are able to see each other frequently after years apart, but their living conditions aren't ideal. The biggest issue is one the prison has dealt with for over a decade — the prison population has reached a level far beyond the prison's capacity. Even all the way back in 2009, Associate Warden Elias Contreras confirmed in an interview with KPBS that the number of people held in the facility reached 4,800, while 2,200 was the intended number when it first opened in 1987.

By the time Lyle and Erik were locked up at Donovan together, the problem had not been alleviated. In visits to the brothers, journalist Robert Rand learned about their sleeping situations amidst the rampant overcrowding. Rand described in his blog, The Menendez Murders, how each one lives in dorm-like rooms. They are housed separately from each other, but both share their larger cells with five other people. Lyle, at least, has his own bed instead of the common scenario of being given a bunk. In 2021, the prison also faced criticism for its high number of COVID-19 infections and COVID-related deaths. By April, more than 1,000 imprisoned people had tested positive for COVID and 18 had died. 

The highly publicized trial of the Menendez brothers, along with the numerous documentaries and TV shows about them that came after, have given both celebrity status. However, Lyle and Erik are not the only notorious people locked up at Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility. Arguably, the most well-known prisoner in recent times (who shares the same prison as the brothers) is Suge Knight, founder of the rap-centered music label, Death Row Records. Far more infamous are Sirhan Sirhan, convicted of assassinating Robert F. Kennedy, and Tex Watson of the Manson Family.

Rapper Anerae Veshaughn, formerly known as X-Raided, has the closest relationship with the brothers, according to journalist Robert Rand. Veshaughn has been behind bars for almost as long as Lyle and Erik, so his history with them goes way back as he was moved to various facilities and happened to meet the two separately. 

In 2019, Veshaughn became one of the pair's success stories, since their help led him to leave his criminal past and even played a role in his eventual release from prison, when Erik wrote the parole board on his friend's behalf. When asked by The San Diego Union-Tribune about the support he gave Veshaughn, Lyle recalled, "I told him, 'With young people looking up to you, kids looking up to you, is that what you want to promote?'"

Despite the horrific crimes they were convicted of, the Menendez brothers have proven to be some of the most exemplary prisoners behind bars. Even as early as 2005, prison spokesperson Lt. Marion Spearman told People, "Erik is a good prisoner. He does not cause problems." Since then, the reputations of both brothers have only improved, and they have been granted the most privileged status by the authorities at Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility.

As "Group A" prisoners, Erik and Lyle not only have access to special areas, like the yard and those designated for entertainment or recreation, but they may also receive packages, make phone calls, and often visit with loved ones. Lyle especially takes advantage of his right to get ingredients delivered, which allows him to cook his own meals, says journalist Robert Rand in his blog, The Menendez Murders.

At Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility, the Menendez brothers were able to opt into a first-of-its-kind unit called Echo Yard in 2018. The experimental program, located in its own section of the prison, is meant to encourage building up a sense of community, especially by removing gangs entirely, as well as teaching life skills to imprisoned people and focusing on rehabilitation.

Including Erik and Lyle, there are 780 prisoners housed in the unique detention unit, where there are no roommate requirements, so people with very different backgrounds may be living together. To outsiders, that may not seem too extreme, but to a longtime imprisoned person, Mitchell Celestine, it was unheard of. He told The San Diego Union-Tribune, "In the main line, you'd never be in a cell with another race. Never, ever play ball with other races. In the main line, you can't even give food — or sell food — to someone from another race."

Under these exceptional circumstances, the brothers have also been free to enjoy many aspects of normal life. In Echo Yard, prisoners can do all sorts of things, from yoga classes to playing music, learning history, or even training service dogs for wounded veterans.

The story of the Menendez brothers has always centered on the sexual abuse allegations that formed the cornerstone of their initial defense: you can't research the case without confronting the reality of abuse. Their allegations were rendered much more credible when another of their father's victims came forward. 

In 2023, Roy Rosselló, a former member of the Spanish-language boy band Menudo, came forward with his own story of repeated rape by Jose Menendez. The Peacock documentary "Menendez + Menudo: Boys Betrayed" presents Rosselló as having been provided to the elder Menendez for sexual victimization as a deal-sweetener in negotiations over a recording deal with RCA, where Menendez was an executive. 

Claims of sexual violence could be dismissed or mocked during the original Menendez trials, but the cultural conversation around such issues has changed dramatically in the following decades. The Menendezes may live long enough to see abuse victims of either sex taken seriously as a matter of course, but whether they will do so from behind bars remains to be seen.

While Lyle and Erik Menendez have focused much of their attention on helping both people in prison and victims of abuse in the outside world, they have also taken on a large creative project. Robert Rand told A&E True Crime, "Both brothers are working together on a large mural being painted on the gray concrete walls at the prison."

Although Erik has certainly helped move the plan forward, Lyle is the one behind the idea and has even grander aspirations of expanding the project to include an outdoor recreation area as well, says Rand in his blog, The Menendez Murders. A lot of support has also been offered to see the mural completed. Not only did volunteers from the art department of San Diego State University agree to design the murals, but Home Depot even announced that it would provide some of the supplies needed.

A prison mural that the Menendez brothers contributed to is part of a larger project to beautify the prison yard. The Green Space Project, the motto of which is "Rehabilitation Through Beautification," cites the "California Model" of corrections institutions. According to that model, correctional facilities should have the ability to present a certain degree of normality to their inmates to make their ultimate release less jarring and, hopefully, therefore more likely to succeed. Lyle Menendez is named on the Green Space Project website as the founder of the initiative.

In addition to the publicized mural, the plan will ultimately convert the concrete-heavy prison yard to a more parklike enclosure, which will not only be far less depressing than a concrete prison yard but also provide a better location for the prison's dog training program. Sponsors include Guide Dogs of America, a local labor union, and a paint workshop that has donated supplies for the mural.

Due to the many years of abuse Lyle and Erik Menendez suffered at the hands of their father, Jose, juries considered convicting the brothers of manslaughter, rather than murder. Even after the two were arrested in 1990 and tried shortly after, their cases originally ended in mistrials because juries could not decide if they should be sentenced for murder or manslaughter. Robert Rand also voiced his opinion on the matter and told A&E True Crime, "The streets of California are not safer because Erik and Lyle Menendez are locked up in prison."

Over the years, the Menendez brothers have tried many times to appeal their case. Most notably, in 2016, a new law passed in California allowed those convicted to bring new evidence of sexual abuse to light, when it was previously prohibited in their court case. However, this attempt, and all the others, failed to get the desired results for the brothers. 

Then, in 2022, a new opportunity arose for Lyle and Erik. As Rand explained, "It's not definite, [but the Menendez brothers' lawyers] are going to file a writ of habeas corpus, and they're going to ask for a new trial. The threshold for filing is you have to have new evidence that was not available at the time of the trial, and they do have new evidence." That evidence was a letter written by Erik in 1988 that details his father's abuse, which was never seen in the trial.

In 2024, there was a resurgence of public interest in the Menendez brothers case following TV impresario Ryan Murphy's "Monsters" hit Netflix. The Menendez case was chosen for Season 2 of the series, following a well-received first season about cannibal and serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.

Shortly after the season's release, Erik Menendez released a statement strenuously objecting to the show, especially in its depiction of Lyle Menendez. Other commentators have praised the factual accuracy of the series, calling attention to, among more mundane details, the fact that Lyle had chosen a Milli Vanilli song to be played at his parents' memorial. Additionally, the show presents the surprising connection between the brothers and another big '90s crime case; that of O.J. Simpson. The Menendezes knew Simpson through their father and even conferred with him on their respective legal strategies before trial, with O.J., of course, winding up with an outcome far preferable to the one Lyle and Erik had.

The renewed visibility of the Menendez case has gifted the brothers a deeply Californian asset for use in their legal hearings: a posse of celebrity supporters. Rosie O'Donnell had been a longtime supporter, speaking in their favor on "Larry King Live" in 1996, later visiting both men in prison and developing friendships with them. Kim Kardashian, herself also connected to the O.J. Simpson case through her late father Robert Kardashian's work as his attorney, published a personal essay reflecting on her interactions with the brothers and criticizing the prosecutor's conduct.

Cooper Koch, who plays Erik Menendez in the Menendez season of Ryan Murphy's "Monsters," has also emerged as a supporter. However, the actor playing Lyle Menendez has not joined him, citing a desire to move on from the role and keep his reflections private. The most eyebrow-raising public figure to publicly speak in favor of the Menendezes is Gypsy Rose Blanchard, famous for her participation in the murder of her own abusive parent. Blanchard is arguably uniquely qualified to opine on the case, but the added notoriety attached to her input may not be what the brothers need.

It's not just celebrities who've been attracted to the Menendez case. The constant trickle of documentaries and coverage of the story meant it stayed in the public consciousness, and a new Netflix series in late-2024 only increased its exposure. Consequently, younger people are learning about the murders and trials for the first time, and older people are reevaluating their understandings of the incident, resulting in increased support for the brothers among members of the general public. Commentators note that a generational change in attitudes toward abuse seems to be at least in part behind this, with Gen Z observers having a more nuanced understanding of the different ways abuse and its consequences can manifest in the lives of different individuals.

An advocacy group, Justice for Erik & Kyle, offers a one-stop depot for news about the case, petitions to be signed in their favor, and information and resources about and for male victims of sexual abuse. Arrestingly, they claim that more males will suffer sexual abuse than prostate cancer, the most common cancer in men. Additionally, the case has also become a hot topic on TikTok.

In October 2024, Los Angeles District Attorney George Gascon told a news conference that his office would change its position on the Menendez brothers' sentence. After a review of the evidence, Gascon was prepared to tell a court hearing that he supported a potential resentencing of the Menendezes, with an eye toward removing the "without parole" provision of their sentences. Gascon went on to say that he believed the abuse allegations and felt that time served, at that point about 35 years, would be a sufficient sentence.

Unfortunately for Gascon and those supporting his progressive approach to prosecution, he would be defeated for reelection less than a month after this news conference. Challenger Nathan Hochman thrashed Gascon by a decisive 61.5% to 38.5%. Hochman had campaigned on moderation, here defined in contrast to Gascon's alleged leniency with defendants, and promised to prioritize victims' rights and public safety if elected. Voters liked what they heard.

In February 2025, the new Los Angeles District Attorney Nathan Hochman splashed, if not quite poured, cold water on the Menendez brothers' bid for resentencing. Hochman pointed out that the sexual abuse allegations had little corroborating evidence. Hochman further noted (via The Guardian) that even if the abuse had occurred, it would not legally constitute grounds for self-defense, saying, "Sexual abuse does not justify killing your parents."

The resentencing decision was not wholly up to Hochman. In April 2025, a ruling by Judge Michael Jesic dismissed Hochman's effort to pull back the resentencing motion his office had presented to the court under Hochman's predecessor, progressive George Gascon, who had openly supported the brothers' resentencing. This allowed the effort to continue, even if Hochman continued to argue against the Menendezes' release.

On a separate front, the brothers also petitioned California governor Gavin Newsom for clemency. This might appear to be a long shot, as Newsom has notably quashed parole for high-profile offenders like Robert F. Kennedy's assassin Sirhan Sirhan and Manson cult killer Leslie Van Houten (though Van Houten was later released), but the governor was said to be considering the issue.

Perhaps surprisingly, the Menendez brothers have counted their relatives as among their most constant supporters. Family members on both Jose and Kitty Menendez's sides of the family have issued statements of support and appeared at court for the men over the years, with Kitty's sister Joan VanderMolen emerging as a particularly firm advocate. Family members have cited varying reasons for their support: some claimed to have known Jose to be abusive, if not to the extent the brothers later alleged, while others simply love Lyle and Erik and wish to extend their hands to the men. Their cousin Anamaria Baralt has spoken publicly about the personal progress Lyle and Erik have achieved while incarcerated, and emphasized changes in clinical and public understanding of PTSD in the years since the killings. 

The family has not, however, presented a wholly united front: Kitty Menendez's brothers Brian and Milton stated that they don't believe the abuse occurred and that greed led Lyle and Erik to kill. Their sister, Joan VanderMolen, described Milton's position with an expletive in a US Magazine interview.

The Menendez brothers are on Facebook, or at least Lyle is. As of April 2025, his account boasts over 100,000 followers and regularly posts updates about the case, complete with sometimes biting commentary on the legal process as it plays out. Recently, Lyle has swiped at District Attorney Hochman for not allowing relatives to leave the room during a hearing before pictures of the murder victims were displayed, leading to one of the elderly Menendez aunts fainting. The banner of the page is a graphic reading "Alone we are strong ... together we are stronger," perhaps not an ideal choice for someone involved in a murder conspiracy.

In addition to the Facebook account, a blog about the brothers and developments in the case is maintained by their friend and supporter Robert Rand, who has written a book about the murders. His website is irregularly updated when Rand wants to weigh in on issues around the saga. In February 2025, he published a post denouncing the Menendez season of "Monsters," decrying it as salacious and prurient, implying a certain unfamiliarity with the rest of Ryan Murphy's existing body of work.

Thanks to some apparently open-minded California prison regulations and the wonder of the internet, the Menendez brothers are able to give comments on their case, including in a recent exclusive, ostensibly tell-all interview with TMZ. Via phone, Lyle and Erik spoke with 2 Angry Men podcast hosts Mark Geragos, a celebrity defense attorney, and TMZ head honcho Harvey Levin. The wide-ranging discussion covered their previous "spoiled" attitudes, their difficult times early in their incarceration, and their nerves as the potential resentencing wends its way through California courts.

Lyle also mentioned the Netflix series "Monsters." Video chat is allowed in the prison, and so Lyle has seen most of the show, as well as a certain amount of the commentary about it. He praised Cooper Koch's portrayal of his brother Erik and went on to note the potential benefit of bringing the case back into the public eye as their case approaches new developments, stating (via The Mirror), "... many people were educated about what can happen even among the wealthy, behind walls, hedges, and manicured lawns."

If you or anyone you know may be the victim of child abuse, has been a victim of sexual assault, or is struggling or in crisis, contact the relevant resources below:

• The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child (1-800-422-4453) or contact their live chat services.

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• The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network website or contact RAINN's National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

• Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org